It's Christmas Eve, and a young girl is stood crying on top of a bridge, looking down over the ledge, preparing to jump when she hears a voice behind her.
"Are you ok miss?" asks the voice.
She turns round and there's a guy in a Santa Claus outfit stood there.
"No' i'm not" she replies. "Firstly my boss fired me this morning. Then when i got home i found my boyfriend in bed with my best friend. Then when i left the house and drove off i ran my dog over on the way out, so i've decided to end it all."
"Don't jump yet miss, let me help" replies the man.
"What can you do - you're just a guy in a Santa Claus outfit!" she snorts.
"Ah but young miss - i AM Santa Claus, and every year i get to use my power to help someone's Christmas be magical. When you get home, your boss will have rang offering you your job back with double your salary, your boyfriend will have seen the error of his ways and bought you a $2000 engagement ring, and your dog will be alive and well waiting for you on your doorstep."
"Th-Thank you so much" the girl stammers in disbelief. "How can i ever repay you?"
"Well" replies Santa, "We don't get everything in The North Pole - i don't suppose a blowjob is out of the question?"
"Well you have saved Christmas for me so i don't see why not." replies the girl, and gets down to it.
After she's finished, and Santa is doing himself up he asks "By the way, how old are you?"
"I'm 24" she replies, "why?"
"24 years old and you still belive in Santa Claus!!" he laughs walking off.
...